First of all, I would like to take the opportunity to welcome everyone to "National Gay Pride" month as declared by President Obama earlier this month. Yay!!!
I know that I don't get a whole lot of chances to post regularly however I try to read every day. As many fellow bloggers out here have noticed and mentioned as of late, we have seen several prominent bloggers who have either gone on a haitus or quit blogging completely due to "online" relationships going afoul or some seriously negative commenting.
When I came to this community, I was in search of a group of folks who shared similar views as myself and so that we could share amongst ourselves and also to support one another in their times of need. For the most part that is what I have found. I first happened on to this community through Mirrorboy's blog and I read his and most of the rest of you who have been blogging for more than 6 months.
Sorry about all that drivel, but I wanted to give you a little background first.
*He now steps up to the podium with gear shifter in one hand and gavel in the other with a scowl upon his face*
As a father of 4 children, 2 of whom are teenage boys, the "relationships" that I see you guys going through online troubles me. Now before you all start throwing things at me, let me clarify. Most of you in the younger generation here I have spoken with at some point or another and I have found you to be upstanding young men who have plans to go to college or uni or some type of trade school after finishing high school.
I also understand the need and desire to be wanted and loved by someone, wether it be in real life or online. I guess the key thing to remember here is that the majority of us started blogging here for pretty much the same reasons that I did and therefore in my closeted, "creepy-old guy" opinion, I would think that you would apply the same concepts of what brought you here to blogland to any relationships that you might enter into in blogland.
In closing folks, please remember that the people you speak with out here will more than likely never grace your presence in real life and therefore don't allow them to "get in your head" and effect you in real life. Those would bed my humble words of wisdom for today.
For those of you, like myself, who are out here in real life looking for that special someone, be patient and true love will find us all.
Friends Forever
Jayson
Tender Thursday *43
12 hours ago
you made a good point. most of us bloggers will probably never meet other bloggers in real life unless we plan to. it's more of an online family support group type. we may not know each other's faces but we do know the stories that we hide from the people we see on a day-to-day basis.
ReplyDeletewell spoken !!! here here!
ReplyDeleteI must agree wholeheartedly, the dynamics of online relationships trouble me, and I do caution as well, not to let them get to you.. I recently did and realized the error of my ways.. and one thing I must say and I cant stress this enough... GO OUT AND MAKE REAL LIVE RELATIONSHIPS... THESE ARE MERELY STOPGAPS, seek out love in yur real life if you can, these e-relationships are at best strained friendships...one can grow them but they should be an adjunct not a goal
Very good advice. Take what people in Blog-Land have to offer, with a grain of salt, use it or not, and don't let things get to you. (Advice for everyone)
ReplyDeleteEr, of gosh!
ReplyDeleteI really don't want to disagree with what are your heartfelt words!
I hope you know me well enough to accept that I'm not arguing against your words of caution, which I know are well meant and I almost agree with.
I simply have to report a different experience.
Pete, my Partner, and I met online. Not through blogging, but through a chat group. We exchanged messages for weeks - nay, months - and finally decided to meet.
The rest, as they say, is history.
So it can work - but I don't believe it's too wise for people to start practising their relationship skills on the rest of us!
Steevo and I (and I think one or two others) are not in the position of looking for a Lover or a Partner. Instead we're here (partly) to try to help people be happier about being gay or bisexual - that and to enjoy ourselves!
Micky makes a very good point. And for our younger bloggers, IM and blog and txt and Twitter and cell phones r as common as stamps and a post card might be for some of us. Culture adapts to technology whether the arrowhead or the computer.
ReplyDeleteOnline relationships r real enuf for some boys and they will work stuff out. How did lovers manage when it took a month for a letter to go from New York to San Francisco. Rather than appear to be dinosaurs and Luddites, perhaps we can at least admit, "I'm not so sure i get it, but if it works for you, with obvious flaws, all the best to you!!!"
I have the advantage of seeing irl teens work out relationships at school, often with great drama and angst. Its not so different than online really. Times change. Deal!
This in no way negates the need for extreme caution and realizing that creepers r damn clever and can easily use an innocent boy in lust.
If someone wants too much info about you, look out.
steevo in cali
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Absolutely yes.
ReplyDeleteNeither Pete nor I was a spring chicken when we met online and we then took what we each thought were appropriate steps to protect ourselves.
Tell someone what you're doing, leave stuff which says where you're meeting them, meet in a public place - don't go anywhere private with anyone until you're absolutely sure.
You all know it - it's just, as Bob would say, stay safe!