My Struggle Part 3

Good Evening everyone. I hope all is going well with each and every one of you. For those of you who are going through some rough times, my thoughts and prayers go out to you.
At the end of the last segment, I had just gone through my first and to date only relationship with another man, only to have to break his heart and mine when I discovered how my parents felt about this lifestyle.
Now, I know you're all sitting out there going, "What a pussy, why didn't you stand up for your rights?" Well, you're right, at the time, I pussied out and have continued to do so until this day. My experience with my parents had such a negative impact on me that it through me back into the closet and locked it with a deadbolt until about a year ago.
During this time however, I managed to get married to a woman and fathered 3 children. They are 13, 11, and 8. One boy and two girls. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife because she is the mother of my children, however as of about a year ago, that is simply not enough for me anymore. I found myself wanting more than just the connection of children. I desired a true love, where we couldn't stand to be apart for more than a few hours at a time. I just don't have that with the mother of my children.
I can't write anymore right now as it is painful for me to think about abandoning my children for my own happiness. I will continue this post in a day or so, I just need to figure out how I want to phrase the rest of this. Please bear with me. Your comments are greatly appreciated.