Thanksgiving, Family, & Friends

As we here in the U.S. approach Thanksgiving this year, I would like to take a few moments to reflect on things that I'm thankful for this year. I would also like to encourage each and every one of you to comment on the top 5 things your thankful for as well.
1) My kids. They are who I work diligently for every day.
2) My Freedom. The ability that I share with all freedom lovers to do or be anything I want.
3) My Online Friends. You have allowed me to share a part of myself that I'm not ready to share with anyone else. Thank You.
4) My Job. The fact that I still have one in these trying economic times.
5) Our Servicemen and women. I'm thankful for for those of you who are willng to go out there and put it all on the line for my freedoms. THANK YOU.
I'll be looking forward to seeing what you all are thankful for in the coming days.

Love,
Jayson

We had a talk.

I would first like to thank those of you who took the time to comment and advise me in regards to my son. I shall update you on that now.
I called him on the phone a few days ago and spoke with him about accountability and personal responsibility and how those two things will shape his life in the coming years if he learns to manage them correctly.
I also told him that I love him and will always be here for him but that he was of the age now where he had to learn to make the correct decisions in life now while he's still at home and we are there to help.
I guess what I'm trying to say is thaat I see my role as a father as being a guide and a teacher more than a disciplinarian at this point.
On another note, maybbe you teenagers can help me out with tbhis, Taylor haas for some reason developed a fear of the shower over the last few months and it practically takes an act of God to get him in there. Is this a phase that he's going thru because I don't remember this stage at all. LOL

Later,
Jayson

Cold and My Son Acting out.

Man I hate the cold. It was freezing in Oregon, Idaho, and Utah this morning. I'm in Nebraska now and it's in the upper 30's so I'm cool. LOL.
On another note, my wife called me today to inform me that our 13yo son is in in school suspension for back talking his teachers and they're talking about putting him in an alternative school. GRRR!
So now I've got to have this conversation with the boy and say "Hey, this is your life that your screwing up here. Get it together." I hope I can get him to see the error of his ways.

Later Jayson

Chaining and Laptops

Good Afternoon folks. I'm going to try and update you on a daily basis as much as I can.
Alrighty, in reference to the title, Chaining, as in chaining up your tires in cold weather is the absolute worse. I hate it with a passion. For those of you who live in the west and northwest, you know what I'm talking about. I just picked up a load of Christmas Trees bound for NYC and am now heading that way.
On another note, my laptop's hard drive has crashed and so now I'm down to just my smartphone until I can fix the bugger or replace it. GRRRR!
Not to digress from the title, but I've also been having concerns as to what I would say to my son if he were to discover that he was gay and then told me. If that were to happpen, it would be a life altering decision for both me and him on how I would handle it. Sorry about going off on a tangent there. I guess I shouldn't ponder and post at the same time. lol

Hugz from Jayson

My Absence

I guess the first thing I want to say is "I'm Sorry" for the extended absence. I've been trying to figure out my place in this world over the last few months. I've been having some difficulties trying to step away from this because of my wife and children but I just can't seem to do it. There is such commraderie here in this "community" that I have never experienced before and it's kind of addictive. Once you have it, you can't seem to let go.
I wish that I would have made different decisions as a young man but unforunately I did not. I just hope that you all will continue to let me be a part of your group as I watch from the closet door. More to come later.

Love Jayson

A Nation Remembers

I remember as I went through school and different activities in life that the question used to be "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Now the new question is "Where were you on 9/11?"
My how the times have changed. No matter what your political preference is or where you stand in the "conspiracy" pool, please take a moment today and remember those who lost their lives on 9/11/2001. They'll never have the oppurtunity to have that preference that we all argue about even still today.
Sorry to be making a returning post on such an ominous subject. Please, let's all just get along.

Time for a Break

As i sit down here to compose this post, many things come to mind. The first thing that comes to mind is the reason I started blogging in the first place which was to meet new and interesting people that I could interact with and be myself. To that extent, I have succeeded. However, somewhere along this journey that I have taken, I found mysself wanting more than just online friends.
I know that many of you that are out here in blogland have experienced similar situations and so you know where I'm coming from. I have spent the last several days trying to come to grip with the fact that at my age and body type and the fact that I'm currently married with children will no doubt put me out to pasture as far as ever eing able to have a true relationship filled with compassion and love that so many of us desire.
I would also like to take this oppurtunity to thank the 21 followers that I do have who found my writings to date interesting enough to want to follow me. My thoughts and prayers go out to Landyn, who is currently struggling with parents, housing, schooling, and basically just survival. My good friend Deadwing, who has taken the first step to freedom by coming out to his family and close friends at work, but who still struggles with trying to find a companion to spend the rest of his life with.
Bob, with whom I have met with and conversed with personally, you are the greatest friend and ally that a gay man could ever have. Keep up the good work. Mirrorboy, who has had his own share of problems that come his way, and at the tender age of 16, manages to hold this little community together. There are several more of you out here who I haven't mentioned by name but please know that I think of you every day.
I hope that one day, we can all live as equals, here in the human race. I will continue to read your blogs and follow your lives as much as you allow me to but for the time being, I'm going to put mine on hold until I can figure out what I want to do with it.

Forever Alone,
Jayson